Mixed Emotions...

Well, I don't know what to say! I guess I could start out by saying everyone is doing good. Suki is coloring up, loving her 0.5g upgrade. She's such a ham, I cannot wait for her to join the sorority. The boys are doing well, Nixon got a 0.5g upgrade as well as Twitch and Greedy getting a 1g upgrade to the decided 5g tank. Spidey is coming around, eating better and trusting me more. I feel bad for him as he's the only male Betta in my bedroom so he doesn't get to see us as often as the other males do.

Now for the emotions. I have no idea if I will breed Bettas or not. Part of it is fear, I've always been the type that wants 100% control and fool proof plans laid out. There are so many what It's with breeding, I don't quite feel comfortable. I guess constant eyes watching my every move makes me very nervous t as well. Not that I am sure there is even anyone reading this, but I know I'll eventually have readers judging my every move. I hate failure, especially when its with something so important and profound as breeding. I do not want to fail. Maybe by not trying at all, I won't fail. Or maybe that's failure on its own. I don't know. And not knowing scares me. Urgh. To make matter worse, I have put some thought into 3 possible spawns. One would be a Blue/Red Dragon HM sibling match, the second a Black Lace CT female and a Red Butterfly CT male. And third would be a lovely Purple/Maroon Marble VT male and a Lavender VT female. I am unsure. The HM would sell better, the CT would be something new to the area and the VT is common but the purple/maroon/lavender combo is an unusual color. Chances are the VT spawn could produce anything as they are pet store Bettas. My heart would love to raise the HM and CT spawn, but I would love to have some of the VT as well. I cannot afford three spawns, and I cannot see myself culling fish for other than health reasons. I am just so confused. This will push my plans to spawn back a bit. I am not one to jump into things, especially with this many holes in the plans. But will I ever be satisfied enough with my knowledge, care, pairs and ability to even attempt? I'm not sure. I wish there was a answer out there for me!

I'll post some photos of the HM possibles...

Potential first pick female - Kaida

Potential second pick - Tatsu

Potential male - Spidey